How to Help Kids Manage Back-to-School Anxiety in the Covid Era - The Wall Street Journal

laingali.blogspot.com

Aug. 17, 2020 9:40 am ET

For many children in the U.S., the usual back-to-school jitters are likely to be a lot more intense this year amid the coronavirus pandemic.

Among students slated to attend school in person, “there are worries about illness and germs and am I going to be able to see my grandparents if I go back to school,” says Muniya Khanna, a clinical psychologist and research instructor at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. Children may worry about forgetting masks or running afoul of social-distancing rules. And many students—whether they’ll be learning in-person or online—may be anxious about missing milestones and special events, such as dances and band concerts, like they did in the spring.

We talked to psychologists about how to ease children’s back-to-school anxiety. Here’s their advice:

Keep calm and listen.

First, parents need to cope with their own anxieties, says Dr. Khanna. It is especially important for parents of younger children to “demonstrate a sense of calm and confidence, demonstrating that the world is OK, that we are OK, even if I’m having doubts flying around,” she says. Moods are contagious, and a calm parent is more likely to mean a calm child, she notes.

Dr. Khanna also advises parents to listen closely to their children’s actual fears. “Stay as small as possible. Start where their concerns are as opposed to starting with where your concerns are,” she says. Then pause—Dr. Khanna calls it the 10-second rule—and ask questions before “jumping in to correct or soothe,” she says. You’ll get more information that way. And you’ll give children the opportunity to solve problems—like what to do if a friend gets too close—themselves. “It is putting the control back in their hands and conveying they are capable of a lot of this,” Dr. Khanna says.

More in Health and Wellness

Face Masks Really Do Matter. The Scientific Evidence Is Growing. August 13, 2020
To Fight Covid-19, What Should College Students Pack? August 11, 2020
Virus Turmoil Raises Depression Risks in Young Adults August 10, 2020

Help children focus on what they can control.

Dr. Khanna advises parents to home in on practical safety measures like wearing masks, washing hands and keeping distance from other people.

If children are worried about getting sick or loved ones getting sick, highlight “how people are staying safe in the family,” says Anne Marie Albano, a professor of medical psychology in psychiatry at Columbia University Irving Medical Center in New York.

And when it comes to anxiety about potential disappointments, like a canceled baseball season or Halloween parade, Dr. Albano suggests that parents first empathize and validate their children’s feelings: “Yes, that really would stink.” And then help them strategize ways to adapt. For a canceled baseball game, for example, “what are some ways of getting your crew together” safely, she says.

Enforce good routines.

Now is the time to get back on a regular sleep schedule, says Jill Ehrenreich-May, a psychology professor at the University of Miami. Going to sleep late and not getting enough sleep has been linked to anxiety in children. Good nutrition and regular physical activity are also key, she says.

Practice.

This school year is likely to throw so much uncertainty at kids. So take time to prepare for as much as you can, says Dr. Ehrenreich-May. She suggests taking your child and a friend to a school-like setting, such as the local library where “you would wear your mask and maybe sit down and read a book or use the computer and wash your hands afterward,” she says. “Kids are going to have to learn to be next to each other while maintaining a safe distance.” Dr. Ehrenreich-May notes that exposing yourself to the very things you’re afraid of is a critical component of cognitive behavioral therapy, the most evidence-based nondrug treatment for anxiety disorders.

Susan White, a professor of psychology at the University of Alabama, encourages parents to get children together in small groups so kids can practice wearing masks and maintaining distance while parents are there to give direction and reminders. “What scares a lot of parents is knowing they are going to go back to school and you won’t be able to coach them,” says Dr. White. She also suggests that children practice “advocacy and protection” by navigating pandemic-era social situations that may arise like “what do you say if somebody takes their mask off?”

Christopher A. Kearney, chair of the department of psychology at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, advises parents to have their children start practicing the morning routine at least a week before school begins: Get up on time, get dressed and put your backpack together (including masks and hand sanitizer). Take a tour of the school in advance if you can. “A lot of classrooms are going to look different and feel different,” says Dr. Kearney.

Psychologists are particularly concerned about how children who already struggled with anxiety about school pre-pandemic or had difficulty making and keeping friends will fare in the new school year. These students may have been relieved when school went virtual and now may be out of practice when it comes to navigating social situations and feel intense anxiety. Practice is especially important for these children.

Prepare for things to change.

Already, several schools that started the year in person have shifted to remote learning after students and staff tested positive for Covid-19. Columbia’s Dr. Albano suggests that parents create backup plans in advance, like “learning pods in someone’s backyard,” so they are prepared if school moves online. Also, keep some activities virtual, whether it be a music lesson or a math tutoring session, she says. That way, if in-person school and extracurriculars shut down, “it doesn’t feel like everything is being pulled out from under you again.”